Rakhi - Nostalgia of an Indian Brother

I opened the pack & ya i know it was gonna be THAT.

For past so many years, we have been celebrating Rakhi, holi, diwali like that.
It was a Kundan Rakhi, sent the e-way, thanx to tolShop.com. But the feeling of receiving it was mixed. There are so many who don't have a sister, but among few fortunate like me, m not so equal with those, who don't need to tie rakhi themselves. Its not only a pledge tht brother's took for their sisters weel being, its a lot more than tht. Its a bond, a pious bond, tht binds two ppl who have spent half their lives together.....shared most memorable & remarkable moments, known each other in & out, who else wud have been more close to me.

But today sitting at this table, looing at tht Rakhi, which wasnt merely an expensive peice purchased ta tolShop.com, it was an invaluable Souvenir, accompanied with enormous emotions, sent long distance !! It filled my heart with a deep pain, i hate to remind myself tht this yr too, i will tie it myself. I hate to remember, tht i will miss her like never before & still say on a long distance call, “i m ok”.

This clumsiness in my contrained life, shackled in the “Karma”, makes me feel stiffled. Why it isn't tht i can just forget everything & fly down to her, to give her a warm hug & say “Sis, not this time !!”. “This time u gotta tie me it urself, not anymore”. I have tht much money with me, i atleast earned so much. But i know “Yeh ho nahin sakta”. Karma..........This Karma, says lets keep pacing, lets not stop!!

As i m writing this blog, i got another pack. Contents-A Lucknowi Kurta !! Oh it is no nice...........again mixed thoughts.......luv of my sis & my nostalgia. I simply can't send her a long distance gift, not because i fear, these internet shoppers over charge me, but because i simply can't overcome my emotions to open a site to send her sth. I want to avoid it as long as possible. I want to run away form it, not think about it, as far as I CAN !!

My nephew is 3 now !! I used to think, he will play with me. When he will twist his tongue ot hardly speak that beautiful word “Mama”, i will shower all gifts in this world on him. WIll carry him on my back & take him on a ride, on those lanes by the park, where i will sit for hours watching him play with all kids.......watching him grow !! Only for those priceless moments, i will do anything. Will tip him for GFs, will dress him to be a Stud, will hide all his mistakes from his parents. No one will dare to say him anything in front of me. He will hide himself behind me, when he knew he screwed up sth very imp !! Because he will know, i m his MAMA.

But NOW !!.................He doesn't know me. He has to be told, “Call him Mama”. He wud shrug his shoulder on me & wud walk away !! He doesn't care who the damn i m in his life...................

But life goes on................ Ya it always did.......... Secluded, Weary and Impassive.

The Great Indian Judiciary & Uma Bharati

Once again, all my "Fell-good" is gone & i am back in the lonely streets of India, realising that it is a corrupt country where people are more bothered about their revenge & money than any economic progress, than any IT boom, than anything else on this earth. India is no more shining, & the resilience of indians towards the political hostilities again proves that we have accepted the very fact of our orthodox view & submerged ourselves in this ocean to never resurface, not to make any efforst to improve the status quo.

The so called three independant forces of Indian Democracy, Judiciary, Legislature & Executive, have once again proved, they are all inter-mingled, going hand-in-hand to conspire against the powerless !! And ofcourse, control is with, the unofficial HEAD OF India !!
We say so about independance of Judiciary, but the moment new govt is in, it plays with Judiciary like a powerful toy in the hands of a yet-to-grow up child. Now Congress brings up a 10 year old issue against a person, & issues non-bailable warrants, without any case, without any warnings, a person who is CM of one of the biggest states of India. Think the plight of a common man. Not even the Hubli court has any reasonable brains to argue the decision.
What power do these people have to issue such warrants, when they were not able to solve a case 10 yr old??
WHat is the efficiency of court, if even smallest of cases remain pending 10-20 yrs? But these people have all time in world to carry on their polical rivalaries. & Judiciary is all hand-in-hand in this mud slinging, putting over time to catch attention of papparazzis, get an interview in one corner of papers, get a mention on channels.
It is not that i have any spl attachments with BJP, but that i can't tolerate any such nuisance in the name of law & order. Everyone knows what is happening. It is an dirty game, played in open, filled with filth, carried out ruthlessly !!

How long will it go, how many more Godhara's (Burning of trains), & counter-Godharas (Killings of muslims), how many bakeries(Best bakery case) forgotten in flames lit under supervision of Big BOSSES, how long will it go !!!
"Power corrupts, And Absolute power RUINS absolutely !!"

Wonder

Wonder .............
if tht is Life !!

Why, i don't know, i feel so lonely.
Why, i don't know, i feel so tired.
Some kind of nostalgia, some kind of smeel tht surrounds me, memories of my pleasant & sweet past, instilling a feeling of excitement & pain !

Sometimes i feel life is liek "Chalti ka naam gaadi", but feel like taking a halt & thinking, infact rethinking, what have we been doing?
Is tht what we wanna go for?
Good college, good placement, gr8 job, BAD WORK !!!, then again bloody all hard work of life, to crack one junk mba school.......again piss off urself with fu**ing seemingly endless lectures.......
Then again a job & then one fine day, sitting like this writing a blog, which ofcourse no one gonna read beyond a second line...........
Is tht a void after an accomplishment? Or is tht a usual excuse for not working hard enough? Or is it another up & down, a very casual one, tht comes & goes. Sth strangley, churns inside.